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Oh Theresa, Sweet Theresa
(To be sung to the tune of Oh, My Darling Clementine)

There’s a girl who shines like diamonds
Glistens in the moonlit glow
She’s my fairy, thus I tarry
For a love I now do know

Oh Theresa, Sweet Theresa,
Passing though my tranquil world
I’ll forever be in awe of
The one who says she is my girl

In the moonlight, in the starlight
Passing by my wistful gaze
I have seen her and believe her
When she sets my soul ablaze

Oh Theresa, Sweet Theresa,
Passing though my tranquil world
I’ll forever be in awe of
The one who says she is my girl

Passing by her in the garden,
I have smiled and said hello
And to please her, my Theresa
Of my love I let her know

Oh Theresa, Sweet Theresa,
Passing though my tranquil world
I’ll forever be in awe of
The one who says she is my girl

A dear smile, lovely smile
That would light up a whole room
I can see that dear Theresa
Has a life that is in bloom.

Oh Theresa, Sweet Theresa,
Passing though my tranquil world
I’ll forever be in awe of
The one who says she is my girl

Dearest angel, lovely cherub
Honey-bunny, twinkle-toes
I have found you, now I have you
I don't want to see you go

Oh Theresa, Sweet Theresa,
Passing though my tranquil world
I’ll forever be in awe of
The one who says she is my girl

I watch you pass by, always slowing
To give a wink or grin adieu
Slow my feet crawl, as a tear falls
As I whisper I love you

Oh Theresa, Sweet Theresa,
Passing though my tranquil world
I’ll forever be in awe of
The one who says she is my girl

So in hallways, or in stairways
When I see my dulcet girl
Not ignored, my love is stored
For Theresa, who is my world

Oh Theresa, Sweet Theresa,
Passing though my tranquil world
I’ll forever be in awe of
The one who says she is my girl

Evansway

In complacent field, on yonder plain
Where pixies rule and bunnies play
On green, green grass of yesterday
Memories do not fade away
Where me and my THERESA
Romp and play all day
On the backs of great gorillas
In the land of Evansway

In Evansway, the land of mirth
Where time and joy share a birth
There is nothing not or worth
Where I hang on ever word
Of the gentle, kind THERESA
A fairy on this gentle earth
She lives with me to sing and laugh
With a smile never terse

Bunnies! Bunnies! Everywhere
Bright warm sun to gently wear
Happy thoughts and joy to share
Elves and nymphs to fly through air
They love to serve kind THERESA
A jasmine girl so fair
She lives right there in Evansway
It’s there for her I truly care

Googlebine

I dreamt a dream of another world,
A world of cats and purple elves;
The world is filled with scary things,
And mirrors of ourselves.

It is a world of goolish Shronks,
And a thousand creeping Sneds.
It is a world that’s free of rules.
It’s a world inside my head.

The people there don’t laugh or play,
But scenes are warped and stained.
The creatures there move back and forth,
And all happiness seems feigned.

Black-flies swim in oceans deep.
And pink bunnies soar in flight.
Glass is dropped but does not break;
Penguins lose their sight.

The grass is blue; the seas glow orange.
Most squirrels and goats meow.
The sun is very dark and mad,
All time forgotten now.

The bluebirds sing in voices deep.
Giant crickets roam the earth.
Everything is upside down,
And nothing is of worth.

In Googlebine, this world of mine,
Things are never as they seem.
Left is right, all light is dark,
And all love is turned to steam.

In this world the oak trees talk.
And gigantic eyeballs dance.
Communist monks rule all life,
Tiny Elfin fairies prance.

Boiling snow falls from the clouds.
The manly men wear gowns.
Flying hay-bushels attack with spite,
And every gremlin frowns.

Marchrooms hop along the ground,
Eating chickens and their young.
Slimy squid squirm about;
And elephants have six tongues.

In this world of Googlebine,
The sky is stained with green.
Dustballs kill in barbaric ways,
And the toothless things are mean.

Vegetables bite the biter back;
Fruits are rotten through.
Chipmunks give you the evil eye,
And crocodiles wear blue shoes.

Monstrous things in this land do live.
Things that freeze the soul!
Krands, and Quines, and venomous Rakes,
Come forth from their holes.

They eat a man with 4 whole bites,
And then look up for more.
They drool and burp and act unkempt,
But they’re not to be ignored.

Snobb-Goblins snatch a Snobb or two,
All in half a blink!
They savagely rip ‘em limb from limb,
And then grind them to make ink.

Humungous Ghords eat the tiny Snikes,
And on their flesh they munch.
They grab them in groups of 4 and 5,
And devour them all for lunch.

Oh, and oh, the Guelfy-Lumps,
They overwhelm the land.
Eating everything in sight,
Then multiply and expand.

But worst of all has not been said.
That of the dreaded Tazz-Ler-Gall!
It parades the land in search of food,
And strikes terror into all.

Googlebine is a fantastic place,
And it lives inside of me.
But the many things that live in there,
I hope the world may never see.

Faceless Boy

They…they call me Faceless Boy
Cause, see, I was born without a face
Truth is, I find it quite distressing
To have my features all erased

The kids, they call me names
Like “no face boy” and the like
But I just take it all in stride
Cause I know that they are right

It’s really kinda tough though
To have no face at all
Makes it sort of hard to breathe
And I never will play ball

Sometimes I wish I had a face
Then kids wouldn’t cry and run away
I wish I had some other fault
Like if I was really gay (or something)

It seems to be really kinda hard
Not to see, smell, taste, or hear
Honestly, I don’t like it much
I’m encased in constant fear

And no girls seem to like me much
Probably because I have no face
They turn away in vain disgust
Then spray me down with mace

But it has its good sides too
Though…I can’t think of any now
Having no face is sometimes fun
I just don’t quite know how

Mostly, though, it’s really bad
Something I do not recommend
I lie in a stupor all day and night
And wish my life would end

I often wish I had a face
If only so I could cry
I’d just let the tears fall down
As I gazed into the sky

The blackness I’ve got used to
But the silence screams at me
Why can’t I be like others?
With a face that I could see

People taunt and shove me much
I guess from hate and fear
Such facelessness they’ve never known
They just can’t help but jeer

I don’t like the mean rough ones
Who punch, and spit, and kick
They knock me down and yell a lot
Then poke me with sharp sticks

I bet if everyone did not have a face
But I alone the one who did
I wouldn’t make fun of one of them
Expect, perhaps, some fatty kids

God must not really like me much
To not give me a face or hair
I just wonder why I made him mad
I wonder why he doesn’t care

I sometimes try to paint on a face
Magic markers I think work good
But the kids still won’t play with me
No matter how much I wish they would

No one likes a faceless boy
The face issue just gets in the way
I can’t really listen or look or talk
But I’m fun in other ways

I can roll around and kick at stuff
I can wiggle and shake with ease
I think I’m good at playing drums
And I can climb up little trees

Yes, it’s kind of hard to have no face
There’s probably nothing worse
Well ..maybe being like…Canadian
But...no … actually .. this is worse.

Yet, I’m blessed to have so many things
A house, a bed, and living space
But there are things I wish I had
Namely, a freakin’ face.

Aged Love

Grace and beauty are not for me
Purity in perfection I cannot see
Youth and vibrance poison love
They do not come from up above

The young and pretty are overrated
Their hearts are black and vainly tainted
Their faces perfect and bodies clean
Immaculate beauty is always seen

But not for me, not now today
These young girls just want to play
Give me a woman; refined, not fair
Who will not bring about despair

I want a woman, old and frail
So wise with years her heart won’t fail
And the countless wrinkles on her skin
Will hint of our so juicy sin

I want a woman, not a pearl
Who’s decades past the years of girls
Her leather skin and stubby body
Will yearn for me to be so naughty

She’ll be so lovely and so sweet
A grandmother everyday to meet’
Me as I rise from bed
To be my granny and to wed

I’ll love my woman and that she’ll be
Her years only matched by how she’s free
Her eyes are weak and her boobies sag
But she’ll be my wife; she’ll be my hag

Forever more, till she passes away
We’ll pass through life everyday
Then when she’s dead, I will not fret
Another old lady I soon will get

Aged Love 2: Pure Woman

Aged love, how can it be,
That you, oh love, would be with me?
Aged love, I know it’s true
Because I see all that you do.

Your many years show on your face
And hint of your so aged grace
Oh lovely dame, how is it so,
That you stay and do not go?

I am unworthy of your touch
Your very presence is too much
Wrinkled skin and deformed body
Only matched by how you’re gaudy

Aged love, come to me now
You know when; you know how
I am, though, but a young child
And you’re so old, and so wild

Take me woman, in your arms
Let me feel your aged charms
Decrepit body, fail me not
You’re all I want, until you rot

Swamp Of Castlegate

Beneath the swamp of Castlegate
In the land far, far away
The winds of inauspicious fate
Hovered over marshy clay

Below the slimy, murky swamp
In a cave so dark and dreary
Immersed in nasty mud and maunk
In a blackness wet and eerie

Lived the creature quite unholy
A beastly horror then to see
Slithering on its belly slowly
Moving stealthily

Leagued it was with imps and demons
So it could never die
And the pearls of fire ever gleaming
Glowed forth from crimson eyes

Soulless creature from the murk
From blackness it was formed
In inky dark it hid and lurked
Neither loathed nor mourned

Down its body ran bleak scales
And its teeth were ghastly gray
The oozing boils on all four tails
Reeked of cruel dismay

Its crooked snout masked its eyes
And its face warped and bled
Its malice only matched the size
Of blotchy eyes so red

So far below, in unlit places
It lived unknown by time
And submerged in irky, deathly space…
The beast was known to rhyme

In the swamp of Castlegate
Below in filth and dark
Though unheard, in hours late
The creature’s sounds were stark

It was pure evil, the beast it be
But that wigger, he could yap
For in the deep, under murky sea
The creature, it would rap

It rhymed with hellish passion
As eyes flashed scorching verse
It loved to rap old-fashion
About his monster curse

Deep, resounding, booming voice
Which echoed off the dark
Made the sprites of hell rejoice
And the glints of evil spark

Demon-villain below the swamp
When night was at its darkest
The beast, from its cave would romp
When truth was at its starkest

Always rappin’ in the slime
About his tales and woes
Speakin’ of the mud and grime
That was his life and home

Dark, evil demon from below
The swamp of Castlegate
Men would never come to know
Or emancipate

The baleful creature in the murk
Who would live forevermore
Not wanting power to usurp
It lived its life ignored

But in the deep, so mucky deep
The creature’s eyes grew dim
Rhymes became slurred and weak
As the monster shrunk so thin

His gruesome size and seething eyes
Waned to be so meek
The beast the dark itself despised
Soon became so very weak

Time had sapped from murky depths
The beastly potent strength
Soon there was but little left
But lowly monster angst

And now the swamp of Castlegate
Is heard in days of yore
But the beast that lived below
Raps not anymore

Sporker’s Law: A Social Commentary

Depravity can play an all too heavy role
On those with little hope
And one can snap so quickly now
Into a dangerous misanthrope

And so it started one hot spring day
The peaceful evening ceased
An asylum breakout lurched into town
And shook the tranquil peace.

Within his hand lay terror to see
And his face was cruel indeed
He took a frail captive in his arms
And yelled with monstrous glee.

“I’ll do it, I swear,” he hoarsely screamed
“Don’t try to stop me now.”
“This spork will be the end of you.”
He wiped the sweat from off his brow

“Oh..come-on now.” some called back.
“Please, don’t be so curt.
“Just slowly put the spork away,
“And no one will get hurt.”

Stab! The spork jabbed, and all gasped in
shock
Time slowed down to breathe
Spork struck flesh and touched the soul
The sporker turned to leave.

“Stop right there, you heinous fiend,
You have gone too far!”
For no one sporks and gets away,
That’s the Sporker’s Law.

“I’ll spork you too, just get away.”
The deranged sporker cried.
“I won’t think twice to spork again,”
He bawled with bloodshot eyes.

“Love of God, no!” we cowered in shame.
“But he must be apprehend,’”
“The hedon-villain must be stopped,
Or he’ll live to spork again.”

“Ha. ha. ha. I will not give in,
My spork will take you all.
Your sporkless ways cannot beat me
My reign will never fall.”

The day was hot and the air quite dank
The stalemate weighed down hard
Time kept ticking with a sweaty grin
No one dropped their guard

Just then, when all hope thought lost
The poor sporked man gave move
Raised up from his dead, sunken spot
And a spork he did accrue

Sporked man from sporker took the spork!
We all rushed forth to aid
The crazy brute was seized and beat
Spork gone, we were unafraid.

Sporked man unhurt, crowd went away
Yet I stayed on to think
Started pondering the violence in this world
But the cadaver began to stink.

Man does crazy things possessed by spork
His mind is deeply flawed
But it helps to know, that all men will
Succumb to the Sporker’s Law.

Ode to a Sick Angel

I know you are not feeling well
Some spiteful sickness you befell
And despite the help of chicken broth
Your youthful vigor’s all but lost

I was unaware that angel’s could—
And question if they even should—
Be so allowed to thus take ill
And not be cured by their own will

But sick you are, as so it seems
The emeralds glint a dimmer gleam
I wish I could but help your pain
And make your sickness slowly wane

But I cannot help, despite my zeal
And an angel’s health I cannot heal
Though it’s not much to help your cold
I still wrote you this quite simple ode

Delicate Angel

When an angel’s sick, who then protects
The poor sweet creature who is vexed?
Who helps her when her strength is not
The strength that such sweet angels aught?

Who dost protect weak sleeping cherub
When such an illness decides to flare up?
And who extends God’s mercy to
An angel who has caught the flu?

And when angel’s wings are put away
While in her bed the seraph lays
Who watchers over the sleeping love
Who has come here from above?

Who keeps the dark and fear at bay
When healing angels aren’t okay?
When sickness has debauched and harmed
The purest and most gentle charm

When an angel does not feel her best
When she can but only lie and rest
Who’ll then protect the gentle dove
Who will shower care and love?

Who’ll keep her safe as time heals
The dreadful sickness that now wields
The possession of such a gentle thing
Who’s deserves to laugh and sing?

Sublime beauty, fallen prey
To a stark sickness of today,
Who’ll be there to hold your hand?
Well… I’ll do the very best I can